Gareth Thomas comes out the closet

**Rugbydump** · December 19th, 2009, 11:05 AM

I heard this rumour a while back, but it's now be confirmed by the man himself. Quite a surprise that it's true, but fair play to him - it must have been a nightmare trying to keep that secret for the sake of the judgemental rugby public. Full story here

Wales rugby union legend Gareth Thomas publicly announced Saturday he is gay, saying that living a double life had driven him to suicidal despair.

The Cardiff Blues full-back, 35, told the Daily Mail newspaper that keeping his sexuality a secret had made his adult life agony and feelings of guilt towards his wife Jemma plunged him into depression.

Former Wales and British and Irish Lions captain Thomas is one of the few top international sportsmen to say publicly that he is gay.

He is Wales' most-capped player with 100 appearances, and ninth in the all-time Test try scoring list with 41, including one from his three Lions caps.

"I've been through all sorts of emotions with this, tears, anger and absolute despair," he said. "I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to let people know and, to be honest, I feel anxious about people's reactions.

"It's been really tough for me, hiding who I really am, and I don't want it to be like that for the next young person who wants to play rugby, or some frightened young kid."

The former Bridgend and Toulouse back said he knew he was gay at the age of 16 or 17.

"I could never accept it because I knew I would never be accepted as a gay man and still achieve what I wanted to achieve in the game," he said.

"I became a master of disguise and could play the straight man down to a tee, sometimes over-compensating by getting into fights or being overly aggressive because I didn't want the real me to be found out.

"But when you withdraw into yourself you start to feel lonely, upset, ashamed."
He met future wife Jemma at a friend's 18th birthday party.

"I genuinely did love her. She was the nicest, most caring, understanding, prettiest girl I had ever met," he said.

"It was such a confusing time because I had amazingly strong feelings for her, yet I knew I had taken who I was and put it in a little ball and pushed it in a corner."

The pair married in 2002. They separated in 2006 and their divorce is due to be finalised. The couple suffered three miscarriages.

"I used to pray as hard as I could. I would say to God: 'I have Jemma, I love her. Please take away these feelings that I have'," Thomas said.

He said inner pain and depression repeatedly led him to contemplate suicide by jumping off a cliff.

His marriage falling apart, in November 2006, at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff after a Wales game, Thomas broke down in the dressing room.

He confessed to Scott Johnson, a coach, who, thinking Thomas could do with the support, told his team-mates Stephen Jones and Martyn Williams.

"They came in, patted me on the back and said 'We don't care'," Thomas said.
"Two of my best mates in rugby didn't even blink an eyelid."

Since then he has told his Cardiff Blues team-mates and it has not caused a problem.

"I don't want to be known as a gay rugby player. I am a rugby player first and foremost," Thomas said.

"I am a man. I just happen to be gay. It's irrelevant. What I choose to do when I close the door at home has nothing to do with what I have achieved in rugby.

"It is the toughest, most macho of male sports, and with that comes an image. In many ways, it is barbaric, and I could never have come out without first establishing myself and earning respect as a player. Rugby was my passion, my whole life, and I wasn’t prepared to risk losing everything I loved.

"It's pretty tough for me being the only international rugby player prepared to break the taboo.

"Statistically I can't be the only one, but I'm not aware of any other gay player still in the game.

"I'd love for it, in 10 years' time, not to even be an issue in sport, and for people to say: 'So what?'"

"Just because you are gay, it doesn’t mean you fancy every man who walks the planet," said Thomas. "I don’t want to be known as a gay rugby player. I am a rugby player first and foremost. I am a man."

**Threma** · December 19th, 2009, 01:03 PM

In an ideal world this shouldn't have to be kept hidden during so many years.
You need a lot of courage to do what he did today. Maybe this will start something and stop that whole hypocrisy in rugby and sport in general.

**Peej** · December 19th, 2009, 01:44 PM

It's an incredibly brave thing to do, so good on him for that. It's sad his marriage broke down though.

Personally, it wouldn't bother me if anyone on my team was. As the guy said, hopefully it'll end the hypocrisy and judgemental nature of some players.

**Charly** · December 19th, 2009, 06:38 PM

Good on him for finally coming out. He still is - and always will be - a superb rugby player. Sexuality shouldn't be a trait people are judged by.

All the best to Gareth Thomas.

**Rugbydump** · December 19th, 2009, 07:28 PM

Originally Posted by Charly

Good on him for finally coming out. He still is - and always will be - a superb rugby player. Sexuality shouldn't be a trait people are judged by.

All the best to Gareth Edwards.

* Thomas perhaps?

**Charly** · December 19th, 2009, 07:34 PM

Haha, apologies.

**Lil-Chris** · December 20th, 2009, 05:50 AM

Originally Posted by Greiffel

"I'd love for it, in 10 years' time, not to even be an issue in sport, and for people to say: 'So what?'"

I don't know if this is just as I am from the more recent generation, but, without meaning to be a cheesy bugger

"So what?"

I have played on the same teams with two openly gay guys, despite the predictable "like what you see 'Player X'?" and the odd "So who would you in this changing room if you had to" jokes at first, as would be expected in any situation in a rugby changing room where jibes and banter are flying around, yet very quickly it became a nothing matter, if anything lads who got awful tattoos received more insults then these lads ever did.

I think that as blokes in changing rooms, we see as much male nudity as any folk walking the earth, knowing these lads prefered relationships with other lads did not bother us one bit. The idea that all gay men fancy you is one that is thankfully fading. So I do hope that other gay guys within rugby can be at ease with themselves and those around them. I know its different when opposing fans can known and what not but I honestly think that rugby is played in nations that, along with their rugby fan bases, that are open minded enough tocan either tollerate and hopefully accept these differences in people.

Big credit to Gareth Thomas for not wanting to live a lie or hide his true self and I hope he can be as happy as possible now.

In the words of some irelevant little so-and-so that I am

"People cannot choose to be gay or not, they do choose to play rugby. Men are the result of their choices and these are what we should judge them by, not their human make up, but the by the choices they make. He didn't choose to be gay, he did choose to be a rugby player and not to play football. Thats more then enough for me."